Blood, Sweat, and Tears
by FaustianFantasy
Summary: Tatsuki had always thought herself strong. She was strong enough to protect her friends and prove herself, that's what she had thought. But she was wrong. As she lay dying, she was forced to see how weak she was. And when she wakes up, months in the past, she vows to never be that weak again, to never be too weak to save her friends. She would become strong, no matter the price.


Lots of violence and temporary (for now) character death ahead. It won't get better after this really, so if that's not your cup of tea then, well, I can't recommend this fic to you.

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Tatsuki was going to die.

She could feel the inevitability of it in her pained bones and in the suffocating pressure surrounding her. How could she survive against someone who could immobilize her from down the street with just their presence? She internally shuddered with fear as she remembered what he planned to do with her. To kill her and string her up to provide Ichigo with motivation when he came.

The orb in her hands that the fox-faced man gave her before being cut down by Aizen, burned with power and the promise of pain as it seared her hands.

She was going to die because this monster in front of her wanted to provide Ichigo with more motivation. This Aizen was going to kill her, then he was going to go after Keigo, Mizuiro, and Michiru. He was going to kill them all like he had already killed Chizuru.

Her body burned, every muscle seizing and relaxing in a desperate attempt to move, to get away, to run away again. But she couldn't, even if she thought it would work because her body just wouldn't _move._ No matter how much she wished it or willed it she couldn't so much as twitch a finger. Even her eyes were paralyzed to the root, unable to even blink or look away from the area just in front of her, where _he_ was. Her body was failing her in a way that it had never before. She wasn't strong enough. She wasn't strong enough to even move in Aizen's presence.

She was going to die on her knees, unable to get up, unable to move, unable to _breathe._ On her knees weighed down by nothing but the air and the sheer presence of the man in front of her, a presence that might as well have been from an ocean of lead. An ocean pushing on her from all sides, not even letting her body finish its fall to the ground. Waiting to die from the slow poison or the crushing weight of it, if its source didn't deign to kill her first.

And he knew that, amusement danced in his eyes as he watched as Tatsuki realized how hopeless she really was.

She felt the orb in her hands burn where she had them clasped in front of her.

Tatsuki couldn't even avert her eyes as Aizen shifted closer to her, floating easily above the ground, white wings that seared her eyes with their power not even rustling with the motion. The pressure increased even more with every breath, pushing and crushing against every bone in her body. He came to a stop just in front of her, close enough that his wings dominated all of her field of vision with their brightness burning her eyes, tears fell from her eyes from the pain and the hopelessness.

"I believe you have something of mine," Aizen said, his voice deceptively gentle. "And I would quite like to have it back."

The orb burned and seethed in her hands scorching her palms and opening bloody wounds with its power. But she couldn't let go, no matter how much she wanted to. Her hands and body were held in place by the pressure surrounding her; the only thing moving on her was the blood spilling from her fingers, the sweat on her brow, and the tears from her burning eyes.

"Oh dear, you can't even move can you? You're being crushed by my reiatsu, even though I've kindly restrained myself from showing my true power." A smile graced his face as he said that, all false sympathy and genuine amusement, "I imagine that if I were to stop you would end up like your friend next to you, or perhaps even pile of dust. How… Pitiful."

Tatsuki was going to die, like Chizuru. Her life snuffed out of existence just from being near this monster.

The blood on the back of her neck burned against her skin. Chizuru's blood that she had ignored at first, in favor of taking Chizuru and getting away, getting as far away as possible from Aizen. Blood that had only stopped pouring when Aizen appeared in front of them and his reiatsu forced Tatsuki to her knees. Blood that only stopped when she felt the last of Chizuru's life leave her friends body, leaving her slack on Tatsuki's back and in her frozen hands. A faint burning presence that Tatsuki hadn't realized was there until its existence was snuffed out. She had been paralyzed and unable to do anything as Chizuru slipped out of her hands to land behind her with a muted thud.

Tatsuki couldn't even gather the strength to turn to look at her.

Aizen moved in front of her and began idly walking in front of her, slowly moving out of her field of vision with his sword held lazily in one hand. He didn't approach her to take back the orb, seeming content to bide his time as he began to talk.

"I'm quite disappointed in Gin, spending his last moments running you away and giving you the Hogyōku. I do wonder what he was expecting to happen, did he think that it would grant you some kind of power to stop me? After it had already failed to give you the power you needed once, in favor of your friends? Absurd, but I suppose that desperation does strange things to the mind." Aizen said, his voice losing its façade of kindness, leaving behind a tone of cruel geniality.

Tatsuki could barely understand what he was saying, she was struggling to keep breathing in between the pressure on her chest and the pain in her hands. But she still managed to latch onto one idea, that the thing in her hands had the potential to save her, however slim a chance it was. It was hardly more absurd to her than the situation she was already in.

Picking up on her hope, Aizen laughed softly and continued speaking.

"It was hopelessly naïve of him to think you could do anything, it doesn't matter where the Hogyōku is, it will only listen to me, I am its one and only Master," Aizen stopped his pacing somewhere behind Tatsuki, leaving her completely blind to where he was, before continuing, "And it will do whatever I ask of it."

Pain lanced through Tatsuki's arm and hands as the Hogyōku reacted to its master's will, creating barbs that pierced through her hands and gouged their way up her arms leaving behind bloody furrows in her flesh. Tatsuki's lungs contracted to scream but she couldn't get anything out, leaving her breathless and dizzy; pain, blood loss, and oxygen deprivation clouding her mind. She could see the crystalline blades still buried in her skin like twisted roots emanating from her palms up to her shoulders. Aizen's next words barely registered behind the pain.

"I could just call it back to me with a single thought, and it would come no matter the distance or any barrier. But I think I will let you hold it for just a little while longer. You can hold and pray for the Hogyōku to save you now when it wouldn't when you had a chance to become strong." Aizen's faux-kind tone was firmly back in place as he continued, "I'll let you keep it as you die."

Hope had left Tatsuki by this point, no matter what she held in her hands, it wasn't enough to stop Aizen from killing her. It wasn't enough to save her. It wasn't enough to save Keigo or Mizuiro or Michiru. It wouldn't save Chizuru. Or Orihime. Part of her wished that Orihime was alive and safe somewhere, but she knew better. She still couldn't feel Orihime's presence and this monster wouldn't leave her alive if he had the choice. And she couldn't imagine anyone could force his hand.

Even if Ichigo arrived, he couldn't beat this. Tatsuki remembered what Ichigo's power felt like and it was nothing compared to this. He said that he was planning on killing everyone in Karakura town for something, and she couldn't do anything. Even with the Hogyōku in her hands she couldn't do anything. She wasn't strong enough to do anything. She had never had the chance to do anything.

Tatsuki's tears had long since run out, and if they hadn't she wasn't sure she would cry. She was just exhausted, all of her desperation dulled to nothing. There was nothing but the cool sensation of her blood on her arms, no pain. Even the pressure had lessened to the point that she could breathe. The only thing she felt was the Hogyōku burning like ice against her palms.

Tatsuki was going to die, she could feel it in every beat of her heart, in her pained bones and labored breath. Even if Aizen did nothing more she was going to die. She was going to die and she only had one thought running through her head.

 _I wish I'd had the chance to do something, the chance to help, the chance to become strong._

She was dragged from her thoughts as Aizen started talking behind her.

"I won't kill you like this one," Tatsuki heard a muffled impact just behind her, "I want to give Ichigo some motivation, and a clean death doesn't have the same impact as a mutilated corpse."

All of Tatsuki's recent detachment rushed out of her like the tides, leaving a feeling of seething and violent rage. She felt every muscle in her body tense and the hairs on the back of her neck, the ones covered in _Chizuru's blood_ stand up with the surge of adrenaline brought by her fury. He had kicked Chizuru.

 _He kicked Chizuru_

He had come into their town, hunted them down like animals, chasing them across the town without breaking a sweat. He had made Chizuru collapse and _bleed_ to the point that Tatsuki had to carry her bleeding whimpering body across town trying to desperately get away. Then he killed Chizuru while Tatsuki had held her, Tatsuki had _felt_ it happen. And now he kicked Chizuru.

For one instant it felt like she was bursting with furious energy and could beat the pressure on her, like she could stand up and attack him. And she tried to do just that. She felt her muscles tense and her toes dig into the ground and she tried to leap up to wrap her fingers around his neck.

But she couldn't. She could barely shift her feet underneath her before the tension in her muscles collapsed against the pressure, leaving her muscles slack and trembling. The burn of the adrenaline just adding to the pain in her body. In the end all she managed to do was hunch forward minutely, barely a hint of her attempted attack visible. The only evidence was the furious expression on her face.

Aizen either didn't notice her outrage or he didn't care, as he walked back in front of her, and she saw his blindingly white appearance bleeding red with her rage. Not bothering to acknowledge her anger, he continued.

"I will leave his sisters intact, when he realizes that they are dead and not asleep he will come at me with all he has, no matter the consequences. He prides himself quite highly on being a 'good big brother'." He confided, acting as if he was sharing something and that he wasn't plotting the death of two preteen girls.

Any trace of apathy or resignation to the situation and acceptance of her death withered away as she felt unmatched hatred surge through her veins.

 _I wish I'd had the chance to kill you._

But she didn't have that chance. She couldn't do anything, she couldn't even move. For all of her rage and hate she couldn't do anything to stop him from doing whatever he wanted. She couldn't attack him. She couldn't hurt him.

But she wouldn't just do _nothing_.

Mustering the last of her strength, she wouldn't need it when she was dead, Tatsuki forced her head up, ignoring the pain and pressure that it put on her soul, and looked levelly at Aizen's face, trying to convey all of her hatred with her stare. She would not die looking at the ground. She would not die with her head down. If he was going to kill her, she was going to look him in the face while he did it.

Aizen merely smiled at her efforts, before saying, "Don't worry child, by the time your reishi recomposes here in Soul Society, you will be reborn into a new world, a better one."

Tatsuki didn't see it coming.

Tatsuki was on her back, covered in blood from the gash opening her from shoulder to hip that she hadn't even felt happen. She hadn't seen it happen and she couldn't remember falling. It didn't even hurt. It should've hurt. But she could only feel muted surprise as she saw the blood flow from her chest, she almost didn't catch the footsteps walking away from her and the last sentence that Aizen said to her.

"A world made in my own image."

He was walking away, he wasn't even going to watch while she died.

Tatsuki supposed that she should be angry about that, but it was so hard. It was so hard to do anything right now. It was so hard to think, words and feelings flitted through her mind without acknowledgement. All she felt she could do was lie there and feel the blood drip and cool down her body. It was so hard to move, she couldn't do more than twitch her fingers.

It was hard to move, but it wasn't impossible. Not like before when there was something holding her down, now it was only herself and her weakness that was failing to move. Her body was simply too weak to move now.

And Tatsuki didn't tolerate that sort of weakness, not from herself. She hadn't for years, since before she cared to remember. She wouldn't start now that it mattered.

Twitching fingers was only a start; it was enough of one, but she didn't have much time.

Weak fingers formed a fist, closed over a palm empty of everything but her own blood and the crystal daggers that drew it. She didn't have the Hogyōku, but that didn't matter anymore. It wouldn't help her. She was past pain and she was past help. But she had one thing to do before she died.

The sharp crystals flexed as she clenched her arm, digging deeper into her skin but still allowing the movement. They stung as she slowly moved her arm and braced her hand against the ground and _pushed_. Her arm screamed in protest but she didn't care, she wasn't going to feel this one tomorrow and this was all that mattered.

Pain that had not registered before lanced through her body as she landed on her front, turning her vision white as she struggled not to pass out.

Her vision slowly cleared and she found what she was looking for, a blot of red that wasn't her blood. She could see Chizuru lying just in front of her. Just out of reach.

Crawling across the ground was agony, and she left a trail of blood from the gash across her chest. But that didn't matter, because every instance of pain was bringing her that much closer to Chizuru. She didn't care that she was aggravating her wounds, she didn't care that she was shortening what little life she had left. She had to do this.

It took what felt like ages and the last of her strength to drag herself next to Chizuru, close enough that she could see her face. Close enough that she could see that the lower half of her face that was stained with blood and that her glasses had cracked along the ridge and both of the lenses were shattered in front of Chizuru's open and empty eyes.

Tatsuki reached out and brushed her bloody fingers against Chizuru's face, covering it with even more blood. Hand trembling, she let it drop from Chizuru's face before reaching for one of her hands that was lying limply at her side. She grasped it as firmly as she could.

"I'm sorry Chizuru," Tatsuki tried to apologize. She had so much to say, to apologize for, but the words stuck thickly to her tongue and her hearing was starting to fade out with her vision. She couldn't tell if she was doing or saying what she was trying to do anymore, "I'm sorry I couldn't do anything. I don't deserve this, but I just wanted to see one last friendly face." By the end of it, she knew that she wasn't even moving her lips, just saying the words in her head and hoping that was enough.

It was marred by blood, both of theirs, and her glasses were cracked and crooked, but it was enough. Tatsuki could see past all of that. She could see Chizuru's face, and she could remember.

She could remember them laughing together, remember them arguing, telling stupid ghost stories over the summer, spending time playing video games, sharing lunch under a tree with the rest of the girls, she could remember laughing as she wrestled Chizuru away from a giggling Orihime.

Orihime.

The image of her best friend appeared brightly in her mind, sending Tatsuki one of her brightest smiles. A smile that she would never see again.

Tatsuki tried to keep the image of Orihime in her mind, to bask in its brightness, but her mind was weak and the image was fuzzy and slippery and everything was going dark around the edges. Against her will Orihime's face morphed into someone else, images slipped through her mind one after another through no will of her own.

Michiru.

Ryō

Mahana.

Keigo.

Mizuiro.

Ichigo.

Karin.

Yuzu.

Faces swam across her vision, one after another

Chizuru.

She couldn't see Chizuru's face anymore, it was too dark. But she was there, with everyone else. Everyone else who was going to die. Tatsuki couldn't help having one last thought before her consciousness slipped away.

 _I wish… I wish I'd had a chance to save you._

 _._

 _._

 _._

 _I'll see you soon_

.

.

.

.

Tatsuki woke up, with water in her lungs and panic filling her soul.

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 **AN:** This is the first chapter of what will be a pretty long story, the first three chapters will be a bit prologuey, to set the tone and the setting of the story before hitting the action. After that, the plot will accelerate pretty fast. So, yeah. Hope you enjoy the story, I'll be writing it for quite far into the foreseeable future.


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